Since we are about to pay our farewell to year 2018, a lot of us make resolutions for the year ahead. I, personally, have none. Never did I had some in my life. But this time, I have jotted down some things to leave in the past before a new sun shines (this is how we say it, right?).
Basically, I’d call them all ‘My Demons’ that have been an ultimate terror for me for quite some time. And I know that getting an escape won’t be easier enough by now too. But success also lies in the process. Today, i pledge for not letting these evils (read: insecurities) take over my soul on the journey to a better ME. Come, let’s begin with the core of this post now.
1. Fear of Being Alone
A notion of finding yourself a life partner in early 20’s (or before) is very commonly prescribed in our society. And if somebody is left out of reaching that, they are tolled with the fear of being alone (and many others along the way). Sometimes the pressure is so much that we abandon the fact that life we live, choices we make, and stands we take are totally our belongings. And no one should cause us the suffering out of their audacity. People should understand that when we feel the urge to something happen is the right time now, we know, there is nothing more accurate than the gut feeling in that very moment. But if not, there is no need to be hard on one’s nerves. Like they say, “Go with the flow.” And while you hold up, do sth productive, be independent and responsible, and add value to your life. This will make a difference.
The mantra of everyone of my age and younger ones are married and having babies is to put a lot of pressure on me. And those who trigger this are not strangers at first. Of course, I cannot cut off from these people but not getting affected by their dialogues is what I have the power.
2. Mental Distress
On a random morning waking up to the feel of feeling nothing, struggle of making your move out of the bed, the numbness of mind while sitting quietly with a stare at a wall. If you also get that kind of phase on some days, remember you are not alone in the club. And it’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay. But here’s the catch that makes your everyday hustle a bit more difficult. So while suffering through a desperate gnawing feeling at the base of your neck, chewing at your heart, taking unusual heavy breaths, HOLD YOURSELF AND SURVIVE. These evils may take enough time until one day the sweetness of solitude will take its place. Don’t lose hope!
Whenever I get into the gray area of my depression, I try to embrace and direct compassion at myself that somehow makes it a little bearable. I’ve comprehended that mental illness is a lone battle, which despite all the struggles I got to conquer myself with kindness and empathy.
3. Bad Choices
If you’re a kind of person who takes life adventures like a roller coaster and appreciates each ride, you know how it is. Our choices are what make us. But oh, they don’t define us. There are a lot of bad choices that we make in our lives leaving us regretful at the end. Giving in to something/someone more than they deserve, not spending enough time with someone, not being able to say ‘No’, and many more. Here know one thing, “Making mistakes is very natural that earns us life lessons. If you see from a wider perspective, you actually grow from them.” I know that the guilt is too big to let go, it is not easy to forgive yourself, and it scares to gather yourself once again. But trust me, it is not the end of the world and you have to go a long way.
I have also made some silly mistakes in my life so far. And I’m confessing it here, not to encourage the fact but to summon myself. I have accepted my failures. And it is my self-acceptance that makes me strong. I have decided to not let the remorse haunt me for the rest of my life.
How did you find this post? Got something to add, any suggestion, advice, or a new year resolution that you want to share. Let’s talk in the comments.